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admin — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 04:08:56 +0000

Repeating Old Patterns is Not a Failure—
It's Human

Why Your Patterns Keep Showing Up — and What Your Nervous System Is Actually Doing

There are moments in your Life when you notice something familiar rising again — a relationship dynamic, an
emotional response, a choice you’ve made before. When this happens, it’s easy to meet yourself with frustration or self-judgment. But what if repetition isn’t a sign that something is wrong… but a sign that something is asking to be understood?

I’m here to assure you — you’re not missing something obvious, you’re not stuck and you’re not behind.

Your nervous system prefers what it knows, even when what it knows is uncomfortable. And so patterns continue, not because you lack insight or effort, but because they once helped you survive. This is why patterns of behavior, especially in relationships and emotional responses, can remain unrecognized for years, sometimes decades, and there are very real reasons for that. Like What?

Your nervous system is always listening for safety. It’s designed to prioritize safety and efficiency, not insight.

Acting in it’s job to keep you safe – it learns early what reduces discomfort, maintains connection, or avoids threat — and then it repeats those strategies automatically. Once a pattern is established, long before your conscious thought steps in, this program often runs quietly in the background. You’re not choosing it so much as Living it.

This is why patterns don’t announce themselves clearly. They often feel normal. Familiar. Even invisible.

From simply a nervous-system perspective, repetition isn’t a personal failure — it’s human. At some point in your Life, that pattern likely served a purpose. It may have helped you feel safer, more connected, more in control, or less overwhelmed. And because your system remembers what worked, it keeps returning to it, even when the situation has now changed.

That’s why you simply noticing a pattern doesn’t automatically dissolve it for you. I am going to share with you now the two tools that you need.

When you begin to notice a pattern, something important within you is already shifting. Awareness itself is a form of ‘self-regulation’. The simple act of pausing — of witnessing what is arising without rushing to change it — invites a different part of the nervous system online, one capable of reflection, choice, and discernment Awareness is your first skill set — and it’s a big one. Learning to slow down enough to observe what keeps repeating, without immediately judging or fixing yourself — requires regulation, patience, and compassion. This is not instinctive. Nope! Many people never develop this ability because it’s just not something you’re typically taught by your parents, teachers or mentors. AND… It’s also not something you easily learn just by watching others. Most of us are basically improvising here. We’re winging it!

But awareness alone isn’t enough. It’s only the first doorway.

A second, equally important skillset you develop is evaluation.

A helpful question to ask yourself is:
Am I staying in this pattern because it’s meeting a need?

This isn’t a trick question, and it’s not meant to send you down the ‘Guilt’ rabbit hole.. Every recurring pattern is usually attached to some need — for belonging, stability, approval, relief, control or emotional safety. Your nervous system doesn’t repeat things just randomly; it repeats what it believes is necessary.

Your deeper work now is learning to allow yourself to explore:

What is the need this pattern is trying to meet for me?
Is that need being met in a way that’s constructive… or destructive?
Is this pattern still supporting me or is it quietly costing me something?

Taking a step back to gain this kind of open, honest insight takes time and skill. It requires you to stay present long enough to feel what’s underneath your behavior, rather than rushing to change the behavior itself. And again — this is rarely modeled for you. Truth – Most people are taught what to do, not how to evaluate why they do it.

So, if this feels difficult, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing something complex and deeply human.

if this process feels slow, or unclear, or difficult to articulate, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re developing a language that lives beneath words — a relationship with your nervous system that allows wisdom to emerge over time. Learning to work with your patterns isn’t about self-improvement or self-correction. It’s about developing a relationship with your nervous system — understanding how it learned to protect you, and gently teaching it that new options are possible now.

This kind of growth doesn’t happen overnight It happens through practiced awareness, thoughtful evaluation, and the gradual building of an inner toolkit that allows you to respond rather than react.

You don’t outgrow patterns by force — You will grow beyond them by now learning how to listen — and how to choose — with care. When you learn to listen inwardly in this way, change becomes less about effort and more about alignment…. And that, in itself, is a powerful act of self-leadership and self-sovereignty.

Best Health,

Jeanne Ricks, CHC

Overnight Change & Self-Mastery You Want is As Close As Your Next Thought

admin — Sat, 20 Feb 2021 21:47:56 +0000

Change ~ In these times you can’t help but be challenged with sometimes feeling discouraged & impatient with what you perceive as an inability to immediately get results…to manifest the personal growth which you want/need to make. Why do you still have old ‘negative’ thoughts & defeating patterns of worry, even anxiety? Often this frustration is based on hard inner development work that you’ve already done; as well as multiple epiphanies you’ve had along the way which brought about profound impact on your current view. ~ You feel a positive transition should have happened…permanently.

Yet, where is that consistency of thought?….Why didn’t the whole of your experience shift along with your newborn awareness? In short, WTF is taking so long for the external-view all around you, to catch-up with your positive ‘evolved’ inner-view?! Right there with you…

In fact, I included this topic in my successful ‘Beyond the Mask’ webinar series but, there was so much info that I packed into those 3 sessions that its impact was no doubt minimized ~ it is nonetheless HUGE!!! Here’s what I need you to consider now…

Thousands of years (not even exaggerating) …THOUSANDS of years of ‘R&D’ have gone into ‘hard wiring’ (hear me now) HARD wiring your subconscious-mind for what’s been termed as ‘Negative Bias’. It will assume that the ‘worst’ is the truest version of events, in an effort to prepare you for potential future danger. This is your Native Defensive Instinct.

Your subconscious-mind has been programmed to ‘instinctively’ assume that it must remind you of potential dangers, as a way to ensure that you protect yourself (an evolutionary imperative from its simplistic viewpoint). In fact, it’s not looking out for YOU in particular~ its goal is survival of the species. So, it’s not at all inclined to be dismissed to sulk quietly in a corner.
~ Your communication with your subconscious mind only happens through repetition and ‘Emotion.’ ~

Whereas it once sought to remind you to be careful and, on the look-out for snakes, wolves, poisonous insects & plants, rancid food or tainted water ~ through your reactions to stimulus in your complex, modern world you… ~ you’ve now expanded its lexicon and taught it new “dangers.”
You typically ‘consciously’ label these dangers as things that cause you “Stress.”

If you embrace this knowledge now into your awareness ~ really move it to the fore ~ you’ll more easily ignore the propensity to hold yourself responsible for any “negative frame of mind” you may find yourself in and so, find it far easier to move more quickly into the State of Mind that you really deserve ~ that is your birthright ~ which is that of Joy and CONFIDENCE….that not only are all of your needs met and effortlessly supplied BUT, you are NEVER alone and are never met with a challenge where you must fend for yourself without help. Here’s why I say that overnight change & self-mastery that you want is as close as your next thought. It’s about creating new Thought Habits.

Recognize that your subconscious mind still assumes predators, lack, and isolation are ALL eminent. That’s right! ~ Predators, lack and isolation are ALL lurking around every corner is the dominant theme running in the background. That’s its JOB…it does not waiver!

This is its base, its set-point ~ its ‘INSTICNT.’ It naturally falls back into this position (like a rubber-band) ~ waiting to alert & caution you…naturally, instinctively.

Instinct – An inborn pattern of behavior that is characteristic of a species and is often a response to specific environmental stimuli. 1. n. A powerful motivation or impulse

Then here you come wanting to make changes in your well-established ‘Safe’ comfort zone ~ to try new, things, to move your Life in a new direction. You’re using ‘positive affirmations’ and other constructs meant to dissuade your subconscious-mind from its doggone job ~ and YOU ~ you then get discouraged because you can’t immediately wipe thousands of years of programming on the slate clean or you find you have to re-launch your new positive frame of mind for the 50^th time because you’ve found yourself back in a defensive posture

Recognize, that this isn’t “YOU”! This isn’t mysterious. This does NOT speak to some failure on your part to implement personal change. There’s nothing to purge, no demons to exorcise, no family members or societal examples to blame. It’s your subconscious mind doing the EXACT job it was intended to. It’s trying to keep you safe.

Your thought themes on insufficiency & lack, resistance to change or breaking old habits all have their basis in natural instincts for survival.

Insurmountable?…certainly not!

Just because the instinct comes ~ you don’t have to allow your thoughts to follow and if they do… you don’t have to pitch a tent and live there.

Witness it. Recognize it. Blame not, and gently, patiently, gratefully move yourself back into the State of Mind that you consciously desire to be in.

The more & more often you do this ~ it now becomes your new habit. As your new habit becomes more dominant, it now begets a new dominant behavior pattern, simply because you will begin to act differently due to this change you create.

How? First, because as I mentioned earlier ~ your subconscious mind learns through repetition. So, you’re now training it. Equally important ~ because the more often you engage the neuronal pathway that encompasses this new thought pattern you’re creating in response to your native, defensive instinct; the more you’re strengthening the myelin sheath (a protective, fatty coating surrounding your nerve fibers) which enables electrical impulses between nerve cells to travel back & forth rapidly. You are, in other words, making a little dirt foot-trail, into a super-highway. That’s right ~ you are actually creating structural changes within your own brain.

This takes time, and you’ll never perfect it because… your native, defensive instinct will never go away…
But, you ~ you’re aMAzing ~ Love yourself ~ Be Patient, keep stepping back into the shoes already present where you want to be ~ remember who you are….

Live Your Best Life!

~Jeanne Ricks

7 Ways You Will Maintain Well-Being Through Stressful Times

admin — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 12:28:48 +0000

Stress is here. The Uncertainty of these times creates an underlying tension that absolutely no one fully escapes, because if you’re not personally feeling it ~ it’s a sure bet that someone around you is. Still, you have many ways to ease the tension and I’m going to lead you through just a few of them..

1. Take Media Breaks Of course, you want to stay up-to-date with the news, but recognize that constant input causes you stress. When there are situations which involve us but, are beyond our control ~ this dynamic automatically causes stress. You must take this into consideration and temper your FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). You do your mind and your immune system a disservice when you remain in a State of Agitation.

Try this. When you start your day – DO NOT immediately engage with the outside world (including kids if possible). Don’t touch the phone. Don’t tune in the news. Try, as much as humanly possible to spend the first 20 minutes or so of your day just with you. Sit and do some deep breathing, a little light stretching, read a passage (that you picked out the night before) of something inspirational, meditate – or simply stare out the window and just allow your brain to slowly warm-up.

Your brain hasn’t caught-up to the tech revolution and hasn’t completely adapted yet to the amount of stimulation and stress that you put it through just in your preparations for a “normal” day. To make matters worse, a recent study published in the Journal Neuropsychopharmacology Reports, found that the Hypothalamic‐pituitary‐adrenal (HPA) axis “has a powerful response to acute psychological stress in the morning rather than in the evening”. The cause may be because your adrenal cortex typically becomes less sensitive to ACTH, (a hormone produced within your pituitary gland that triggers the release of the stress hormone cortisol), as your day wears on.

Limit yourself to 30 minutes out of your morning to scroll through your newsfeeds. Then, don’t keep obsessing over it all day long. Our 24-hour news media compels organizations to recycle the same soundbites over & over again all day long under the guise of ‘Breaking News’, that’s anything but.

Also, try to always follow-up your daily 30-minute news update with some lighter, happier articles, podcasts or by doing something else that you enjoy to keep your day moving in a positive and supportive direction.

In truth, despite everything that’s going on, there are lots of good things still going on in the world.

Daily Social Media Breaks, Too…

While it’s great catching-up with your friends, be honest, it’s also a huge time-sucker and de-motivator. So, for close friends and family, try instead to use a direct messaging app instead of a distracting social media app to catch up with everyone.

iPhones have settings that will set time limits for apps that you want to try to stay off of, and you can easily achieve the same with androids as well. Especially for those who are working from home; devote 20 minutes of your day to checking-in with friends online, and then drop your phone off in another room before you start work. There’s nothing worse than getting into the zone and having something pull you right back out of it.

Remember too that eye fatigue is a very real issue from working online and your phone all day starring at screens. So be certain to give your eyes a rest if you think they need it. This might include swapping your nightly video gaming or TV session for something less technological if your eyes are hurting or feel teary.

2. Set Realistic Goals Make goals for your day, your week and for the month ~ both for work (including household projects) and personal development. Remember that just because you’re at home that doesn’t mean you can’t continue working on yourself. Have something planned to look forward to every day and to work on. Your life will feel a lot less like the movie “Groundhog Day” when you’re accomplishing things. Being able to get things done with your time off, will make you feel good too when we’re back in the real world.

3. Create a To-Do List Now you can get more specific. Be realistic ~ be sure to set goals that you can actually achieve. If you plan household chores, while juggling a full-time job (that you’re now trying to do from home), and need to study for 3 hours, and squeeze in quality relationship time ~ you may fall short and lose your motivation. Good time management requires a reality check on the demands mentally, emotionally, and physically. It also means scheduling adequate break time which can be overlooked simply because you’re doing everything at home. So, don’t forget hobbies that you enjoy, books you’d like to read, activities that you want to do as well.

You may want to use an actual ‘old school’ sheet of paper for our to-do list~ that way you can have the satisfaction of physically scratching off items from your list as you complete tasks, and balling it up to throw it out at the end of your day. Or you may type them in the Notes section of your phone and check them off with a little emoji when you’ve completed something.

If you plan ahead, you’ll find plenty of refreshing activities. You can explore museums that are releasing free virtual art exhibits. For instance, Museum of the City of New York decided to start #MuseumMomentofZen and museums across the country have now been joining in to offer art and other imagery during these stressful times. More than 100 museums from all over the world have taken part. You can even find science exhibits and zoos that are live-streaming their animal friends online.

Some colleges are now releasing free online classes and tutoring sessions if you’re interested in learning something new or enhancing your resume. Musicians are having fun on their social media sites: solo concerts, special releases are being posted by the second to keep everyone happy while they’re stuck inside. If you have a public library card, check with your library to see what kind of digital resources they offer! If you see things like these, go for it, schedule them into your calendar: they’re perfect for keeping you entertained,

A to-do list is a simple tool that you can put to use in times when it’s difficult to establish order and control. It’s also a huge boredom-buster’ for those times when you think you have nothing ‘to do’.

4. Build a Routine Okay, now you don’t have to wake up at 6am anymore (a definite win), but it’s still important to keep a consistent schedule and routine for yourself. You do this for your kids without question. Well, the same is actually necessary for you too. Believe it or not your brain relies on patterns to feel safe. They reduce stress.

You’ll need to continue getting-up at a semi-regular time every day ~ especially for those now working from home. This practice will ensure that your body maintains its natural sleep cycle. It has been shown to reduce fatigue and keep you from feeling out of sorts throughout the day, and you’ll be able to get to bed at a reasonable time at night. If you normally would have set your alarm later for the weekends, then continue that pattern as well.

As much as possible, remain consistent with your meal times. A green drink like a Spirulina powder is good to have once or twice during your day because it gives you vital nutrients and micronutrients that are going to give you energy and help you to maintain a healthy immune system. Plus, the escalating levels of cortisol released during chronic stress will cause cravings for sugar and fat but, green drinks turn those down by sending out the metabolic signal that tells your body it’s been fed.

Instead of jumping from task to task, create a set routine and stick with it. You’ll waste less physical energy and brain space. Realistically set aside time for different projects. If there’s a task that you must do daily (helping kids with homework, sending in client reports, doing dishes), try to complete it at the same time each day.

Set-up a reminder on your phone so you’ll be sure to also give yourself breaks. Get up and stretch, walk around, drink some water, take deep breaths, check on a loved one, meditate, or do whatever helps you stay sane.

Maintain and end-of-day schedule as well. Once you log-off for the day, really check out. Get a change of scenery with a walk or a bike ride. It’s important to stay positive and look at all the ways you can spend your time doing the things you want.

Keep a record of your time each day. Write down what you’re doing somewhere – in your phone, a notebook, a calendar. This tool can be considered similar to that ‘pat on the back’ or getting that ‘gold start’ for the day when you were a 4^th grader. You get to witness your improvement and your accomplishments. They become tangible if you are writing it down or taking photos of your progress. Even if it’s learning a new skill or language or finally putting together that Star Wars, Millennium Falcon Lego set that you bought (…for your kid), now you’ll document it and enjoy seeing how far you’ve come.

5. Separate Work & Home For those who have had to make the ‘work from home’ transition, it may be easier said than done. Suddenly, home and work are in the same place. It helps to separate them as much as possible.

It is crucial to let anyone else in your home know when you will be working or studying. Whether you choose to do this at a set time each day or in a block of hours on certain days. Realistically, even this advance notice may not completely guarantee that you won’t be disturbed, but it is so important to set boundaries in advance and not try to wait to establish them in the moment. We’ve all seen humorous videobombs of a significant other walking behind the camera in their underwear or a pet, or child running into the room unprompted, during a work conference video chat. Pre-scheduling can help.

During your chosen work/study times, focus. The more focused and dedicated you are, the more productive and effective your allotted time will be. If you find that you need to tune out the noise being made by others around your home, prepare yourself in advance. Earplugs are a wonderful tool. Or consider headphones and your favorite work/study music. Instrumental music like lo-fi hip hop, classical, jazz or synthwave, for example can be used as background music ~ they will cancel out unwanted noise, as well as provide you with a motivating soundtrack. Experiment with different genres to see what works for you. If you’re finding it difficult to focus, take a short break to stretch, breathe or enjoy a glass of water.

Create a de-cluttered, dedicated “work” space. Hopefully, you can have it away from your bedroom because this should be reserved, as much as possible, only for sleep and romance. Studies show that when you begin frequently working in a room, whenever you then try to relax and enjoy yourself in that same space, you’ll only be able to think of work. This means, try not to type-up reports from your bed, or else you genuinely will not sleep as deeply at night.

If your space will allow, dedicate a separate room for work. If not, try clearing a certain seat or table in your kitchen, a specific chair in your living room. In a pinch, you can make a blanket fort in a corner of your bedroom and work from there. It doesn’t matter where you are, it just matters that you keep “work” and “home” spaces separate.

6. Exercise Some may find this an ‘inconvenient truth’ but, movement is essential to every aspect of your health ~ mental, physical, and emotional. If your doctor has cleared you; whenever you have time to fit exercise into your home routine, go for it! It’ll improve your circulation, rev up your metabolism and serve to improve your immune system. Keep yourself fit, trim and healthy by exercising at least 3 times a week. Morning workouts are particularly helpful in starting your day energized.

Again, this may be a major shift for some because you associate “working-out”, with going outside your home to the gym or an organized class. You may never have associated your TV room with ‘getting your sweat on’, but now’s the time.

Join an online fitness class, follow along with instructional videos, find fun dance workouts online, take up jogging, or explore some new workout activity that you’ve never tried ~ like tai chi, yoga or chi gong. On your days off, try to get outside into the sunlight as much as possible by going for walks, biking, blading, skateboarding or just driving to the grocery store to search for decent quality toilet paper. Anything that invigorates and tires you out, will help you survive SIP. Also, it will serve to improve your sleep at night, give you more energy throughout the day, and help keep your mind and body healthy while you’re stuck indoors.

Moving your body and getting your heart rate up for 20-30 minutes a day will help you feel so much more revitalized. Consider creating a 30-day Fitness Challenge with a group of friends on-line.

7. Allow for Self-Care You must always set aside special time for yourself at the end of your day. This step will help stabilize your daily routine and greatly reduce stress. Movies, video games, long showers; something that makes you feel happy, relaxed, and is entirely unrelated to your work, chores, or pressures of the day.

One example that researchers have found is that writing down 5 things you are grateful for, just once a week, is significantly linked to increased well-being. Granting yourself time to ‘chill’, will help you to de-stress and leave you feeling more refreshed the next day.

So there you now have 7 ways to manage a bit of self-care to maintain your well-being during ANY kind of stress.

Live You Best Life!